Manny Trade Request Granted, Sent Off to Burleigh
Stalinist Purge Seen in Beverly. Are Granny & Griffey Safe?

(UPI) - Albany - Manny Ramirez who has asked to be traded in each of his 10 seasons in the TML has again been granted his wish. This time Albany, who Manny led to a title this season, tired of his clubhouse antics. GM Barry sent out an anouncement of Manny's availability which generally fell on deaf ears as so many trade opportunities do in this league. However, the enterprising Jim Pertierra took note and knowing well Barry's preference for P&P (pitching and picks), quickly got Manny in the fold with an offer of Mark Prior and the four remaining Burleigh draft picks. Said GM Barry: its nice to be a force at the draft again and we wish Manny and Jim the best. We acquired Manny with the hope of winning a pennant and we lucked into it. With our expectations met, we wish Jim the same luck with him in Burleigh.
In other trades, the acquisition of Mark Prior left Albany awash in starting pitching. This allowed ageless Jaime Moyer of Albany to be shipped to Danny Way for the perenially injured Richard Hidalgo in a trade of the old for the infirmed. Supercard Tony Clark and promising prospect Victor Diaz were traded from M9 to Susquehanna for ageless on base catching machine Geoff Zaun, closer Braden Looper and versatile Willie Bloomquist.
Finally a Stalinist purge is on in Beverly. Mike Dickinson, the General Secretary of Beverly shown at left, bears an uncanny resemblance to Uncle Joe. Said the Fearless Leader: "Comrades Giambski, Counsellovich, and Eatonov were not making quota and were seen as enemies of the republic. Scum as they are, what better person to be sent to than that Imperialist Pig in Wasteland". With the compensation for his undesirables Dickinson will begin a new Five-Year Plan and try to restore the Hillbillies to the lofty perch they had in 2004. Or else they will invade Poland or some such thing.

That's all for this week in trading. Good luck and Happy Trading to all!!!

Winter Blues Thawed by TML Trades
Walla Walla, Mudville Swap Infielders, Toxin get Pitching and More

(UPI) Two trades warmed the winter frost as temperatures climbed to near 50 degrees at TML Trade Headquarters in Albany. The first trade saw Walla Walla acquire secomd baseman Orlando Hudson to shore up the defense behind Big Cliff Lee, Cy Young Candidate. Bryan Sakolsky, GM of the Wombats also got the enigmatic veteran game player Milton Bradley. Mudville received Joe Crede and the underappreciated Xavier Nady in return. For Bill Graham, it meant a successful conclusion to an offseason long quest for a third baseman. It also meant the end of a headache. Said the Majarajah of Mudville, "Bryan's finally went out and acquired a bigger biffer than he is!"
Machine Gun Max says: I wouldn't bet on that!
The other trade continued the Toxin's quest to wrap up a playoff spot this year by exchanging picks for players. The Toxins traded their second round pick and sinkerballer Sergio Mitre to Valparaiso for ageless Bob Wickman and the shock and jock tandem of Anna and Kris Benson, the scourges of rural Indiana. Kris Benson will eat a lot of innings and Anna will eat a lot of time in the spotlight. GM Landin had been pursuing the Bensons since he met them at the charity Children & Chernobyl. Said the obviously smitten fellow, "These are people that will be great for our community. They will be actively involved in projects to remove the toxins from Wasteland, excure the half-pun." "They're beautiful people really", said Landin proving he hadn't been looking at Kris Benson much during the Chernobyl charity. See photo above

Mammoth Danny Way - Burleigh Trade
Cy Young Candidate Lee Lands in Walla Walla

(AP) Veteran General Managers Pertierra and Hetterich ended 2005 with a bang, consummating a 12 player, 4 draft pick trade. The trade is believed to be the largest in the TML ever. Mark Hetterich was all smiles as he began his youth movement in earnest. The Diamonds got Burleigh's first round pick as well as Jorge Cantu, Humberto Cota and Burleigh's fifth through seventh picks. They also added veteran leadership, whatever that is. with Matt LeCroy and Kenny Lofton. Pertierra got immediate help in Paul LoDuca, Carlos Beltran, Juan Rivera, Edgardo Alfonzo, Tim Worrell, Luis Vizcaino, Hiram Bocachica, Adam Bernero, Joe Borowski, Nate Bump, Nate Field, and Jason Frasor. A known coveter of Carlos Beltran, Big Jim, shown above facing camera while scouting at PNC Field, also liked Borowski for laying in a BP fastball to Rob Mackowiak to start one memorable baseball road trip.
In other news Walla Walla got Big Cliff Lee, Cy Young candidate, from the Avalanche for Juan Uribe and Aaron Heilman. That Walla Walla GM Bryan Sakolsky was also able to get two draft picks from the normally savvy Albany GM Pat Barry in addition to Lee was a testament to the desperation in Albany to acquire a shortstop and the genius of Sakolsky to recognize it. Said Barry afterward, "Trading with Bryan is like a trip to the dentist. You never know what you're going to lose, but you know it'll be painful."